I’m not sure about you, but my hormones and emotions have been all over the place lately. One minute I’m super happy and the next I feel like I want to curl up in bed and cry. I don’t know whether it’s due to lockdown, recently having a baby or what, but one thing I have realised from it all is that it’s ok not to be ok. And I want to help others who feel this way realise that too.
You don’t have to be strong all of the time. This is something my husband has told me many a time.
Dealing With The Emotions
I don’t know how many years it’s taken my husband (far too many) to shake out of me what’s wrong when I’m feeling a bit down. I’ve always kept my feelings inside until I pop and burst into tears with the weight of the world on my shoulders, or so it feels. The strange thing is, I don’t always know why or can explain why I’m feeling the way I do.
Everyone shows and deals with their emotions differently and there’s no rule book to say how it should be done (although violence should NOT be the answer). Some find it extremely hard asking for help, or to even admit that they’re not feeling ok. When there’s something physically wrong, most of us will take ourselves to see a doctor, however thats not always the case with mental health. It’s almost a taboo subject or seen as weakness, when it really shouldn’t be.
Over the years I’ve dealt with light anxiety and depression - neither bad enough for medical assistance though. As a child I had no worries and life was great. Whilst life is great now and I’m extremely blessed to have what I do, once you have a job, a home, a family and everything else that comes along with those things, there can be an immense amount of pressure. Sometimes it just all gets to you. But that’s ok.
Parenthood is the best thing ever, but the mixture of emotions that come with it can be a recipe for disaster sometimes. Particularly if you spend most days at home with just your children, like most of us have during lockdown and don’t have adult interaction. Whilst my husband is at home, he’s working, so isn’t available for random chit chats here and there.
The Feeling Of Guilt
When I’m having a down day, I often ask myself how I can be feeling so down and upset when I’ve got so much to be thankful and happy about. There’s people much worse off than me and I’m sat here a blubbering mess feeling down about life - makes me feel so guilty.
The thing is, you could have everything you could ever want in the world and you’d probably still have days like this. It’s part of being human.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, I’ve always found it difficult to talk about my feelings. I don’t know why. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about speaking about them, I just find it hard. Whilst it’s becoming easier now, I think that’s mainly because my husband knows me well enough to know when something is wrong, and so begins the conversation himself. I think that’s one of my problems. I just don’t know how to broach the subject.
Once I have spoken about how I feel, I feel one thousand times better for it. Not only do I feel better, but my husband (as he is who I generally speak to about these things) understands what’s going on in my head and why I might be a bit down or more emotional than usual.
You’re Not A Burden
When you’re feeling down, don’t resist it because you feel like you’re going to be a burden or that you’re the only one feeling this way. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. We all go through these feelings, whether we talk about them or not. It’s ok not to be ok.
If you’re mental health is suffering or you’re generally just having a bad day, both are more common than you know. The most important thing is that you seek help. Whether that’s by speaking to family, friends or a specialist.
A problem shared is a problem halved, as they say!
If you need someone to talk to, why not pop me a message. Whilst I’m not a specialist or professional, I can certainly be a friend and a listening ear.
It’s ok not to be ok.