Lockdown Number Two: Two Kids & Mum Guilt

We’ve been in a second lockdown here in Wales for nearly a week and it’s all a bit different to the first time. 

This second “fire-break” lockdown has been introduced due to a sharp rise in Coronavirus cases in Wales and the Welsh Government wishing to reduce the stress put on the NHS over coming weeks. By going into this second lockdown for two weeks, hopefully cases will drop as people stay at home. 

There’s so many conflicting thoughts and ideas on the whole lockdown subject (I won’t even go into the non-essential items) it gives me a headache. I just think whilst nobody wants to be stuck at home for two weeks, let’s just do what we’re told and hopefully come out the other end at a place where we can enjoy Christmas, and see our family and friends again. 

At the end of the day, we are doing this to save lives. Lives that might and could affect us and our loved ones. 

Lockdown with Two Little Ones

The first UK national lockdown that began on the 16th March and lasted until 10th May wasn’t too bad for us. Mainly because the weather was lovely and we could sit out in the garden, go for walks and do a bit of DIY (like every other person in the country - trying to get hold of any type of garden paint during this time was nigh on impossible!).

This lockdown is a whole lot different, particularly as it’s Autumn nearly Winter and the British weather this time of year is rubbish and very unreliable. Although, the second day of lockdown we went for a walk in the rain. You know how it is being stuck in the house with children, we just needed to get out no matter the weather! 

I always find I’m a bit less motivated this time of year too - apart from buying gifts for Christmas - so I’m definitely not in the mood for doing any DIY this time around. I like to get my hair into a mum bun, put on some loungewear and sit on the sofa, when and if the boys let me. (I’m not a slob, honest). 

With the weather being so rubbish, it’s hard to use up this magic energy that my three year old just keeps showing. I have no idea where it all comes from, hence the “magic”. My nine month old isn’t too bad as he’s happy playing on the floor with some toys or bopping to nursery rhymes.

The hardest thing is not being able to see family and friends, something that I rely heavily on. Not just for help with the boys, but for feeling a little bit more human and like me, "Steph". I like being around other people a lot, preferably ones that can hold an adult conversation. That doesn't mean I don't love spending time with the boys, because I do. It's just nice to mix it up a bit now and again.

Mum Guilt

Ahhh the mum guilt is real. 

You don’t realise how many things can impact how you feel on a day basis. It’s not just hormones, it’s what’s going on around you and even how the weather is. Gloomy days make me feel so miserable, especially when I’m stuck in the house. 

It hasn’t even been a week of this second lockdown and I’ve already found myself raising my voice for no reason on some days and feeling like I “can’t be bothered to parent”. All of which makes the mum guilt creep up on me. When you're feeling emotional and down, it's not always easy to contain it especially when you have little people testing your patience. Sometimes a little bit of that emotion slips out. If like me, you like being out and about and seeing family and friends, lockdown can be real hard.

It’s always hard to remember that you’re doing a good job and that everyone else experiences the “mum guilt” or “dad guilt” sometimes too. It’s natural. 

It doesn’t half make you feel terrible though!

The Future of Coronavirus 

Who knows what the future holds with Covid-19. My thoughts are that it’s something we are going to have to learn to live with, like we do with many other diseases and viruses. 

Hopefully we will have some sort of vaccine soon and we can go back to some sort of “normal”. 

I wonder how things will look a year from now...

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