Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been maternal, playing with dolls and nursing to sleep babies that belonged to my mum’s friends. Unfortunately being a Mummy or Daddy isn’t something that comes easily for a lot of parents.
Every day in the UK 14 babies pass away before, during or after being born. When I first saw this statistic and even now, it fills me with such sadness to think that every two hours (on average) a family goes through this pain.
Since having children and experiencing the sleeping or who pass away soon after birth, is just unimaginable. Before hearing about Sands, I wondered how on earth any parent could cope following something like this.
Who are Sands?
Sands is the leading stillbirth and neonatal death charity in the UK. The charity exists to help reduce the number of babies dying and to provide care and support to anyone who goes through it, for as long as they need it.
The charity also works to improve the understanding of the cause of baby deaths and to save babies’ lives. With their powerful vision of creating a world where fewer babies die, I just knew I had to get involved and play my part to help bereaved families.
When I saw Sands promoting their most recent fundraising campaign, I instantly jumped onboard.
Fundraising for Sands
During the month of October, I will be walking a total of 310,000 steps to raise funds for this amazing charity that plays such a special part in so many people’s lives.
Baby loss is such a taboo subject and I want to help #breakthesilence along with thousands of others who are also taking part in this challenge. I always say a problem shared is a problem halved (although I’ve not always found it easy myself).
If you would like to donate, no matter how big or small, please click here. All donations are so greatly appreciated and will go towards ensuring the best possible care is given to families who need it at such difficult times.
Maybe you’d like to join in the challenge and fundraise yourself? You can find all information about it here.
In March 2017, we found out that we were expecting our first son, George. When George arrived in the October, the next chapter of our lives began and the amount of love that filled our hearts was indescribable.
In June 2018 we decided to try for our second child...
It took six months to conceive George and I was expecting similar if not longer for our next baby. When a pregnancy test in August 2018 came back as positive, we were almost shocked. We weren’t expecting it so quickly. After a few days, the shock began to wash away and the excitement settled in. George was going to be a big brother!
When I was 11 weeks pregnant I began to bleed heavily and started to miscarry. After four long weeks of appointments, scans and heartache, I had to have a D&C procedure.
In January 2019 we decided to try again. After going through a previous miscarriage, it was definitely at the front of our minds. At six weeks pregnant I started to bleed and the worry and panic once again set in. This time, my body naturally miscarried.
We were heartbroken. I began asking myself questions and wondering what an earth I’d done to have lost two babies. I felt guilty, like it was something I had done. I was healthy, I looked after myself. Why us?
In May 2019 we had another positive pregnancy test. This time it was meant to be. After being paranoid about every twinge and pain, we were incredibly blessed to welcome our second son, Max, into the world in January 2020.
Baby loss affected my Nanny, my mum’s mother, several times. She experienced stillbirths, miscarriages and neonatal death. My mum was their last attempt and thankfully all was ok. They then adopted my uncle to save any further heartbreak. As this happened so many years ago, before doctors know what they do now, sadly they never found out why they lost so many babies.
Professional Support and Advice
Losing a baby, born or unborn, is something that nobody should have to go through. To think that it’s happening every single day to parents across the world is heartbreaking.
At one point during our baby loss experience, I was very close to admitting to needing and seeking professional support and advice. But with the support of my husband and family, I felt it wasn’t needed.
If you feel that you need someone to talk to or just need someone to chat to, please make sure you seek the right help such as that from Sands. There’s no need to feel embarrassed, guilty or that you’d be failing by doing so. It’s so important that you share how you’re feeling.
I was doubtful as to whether to post this blog, but I hope it will raise some awareness and help someone who’s reading this.
To donate to my fundraising for Sands, please click here.
This blog post has in no way been endorsed or sponsored by Sands.